Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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