What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
