idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
