how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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