A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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