16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
