You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
