i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
