So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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