ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
