some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
