this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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