He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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