He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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