Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize