I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
