He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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