I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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