He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
