gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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