My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
