Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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