I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
