I hate your face
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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