she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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