oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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