I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize