If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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