so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
