Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
