You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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