So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
