Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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