note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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