two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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