Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
