I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
