He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
