4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
