I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
