You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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