Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
