So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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