You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
