Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
jump out the window naked night went bad
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
