come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
