found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
COCAINE IS GR8
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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