just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
