mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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