yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
17 year olds will be the death of me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
