This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
