The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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