How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
