you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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