How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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