So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
