Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
